America's Next Top Farms

Folks, I know I'm seven days behind on this story, but I 

just watched the riot that broke out at the New York 

casting for the 928th cycle of America's Next Top Model

in its entirety. 

Hoo boy, that was hilarious. Except for the 

people getting harmed, maimed and trampled.

I lovingly refer to the show as America's Next Top Farms, 

because Tyra Banks has fat arms that she enjoys 

flapping during "panel" before smiling with her eyes, 

reaching under the table to gently caress Miss Jay's smooth, 

shaved legs, and eating the model who has been eliminated, 

whole, like a Blackwidow spider.

This clusterf*ck of a casting was for girls 5'7 and under.

Those little tarts are rambunctious. My favorite bit is at around 2:08 

where the crowd separates slightly and an actual brawl begins. Brilliant.

I can't wait for cycle 42 to end so we can all embark

upon ANTM: Vertically Challenged. 

I wonder where Tyra was during this riot. 

I bet she was flapping her farms, soaring in swooping circles 

above the pandemonium below, softly singing "Moon River" 

to herself, backwards, hoping that the New York winds

wouldn't damage her orange, nylon weave.

And now, some screenshots of my beloved Tyra.....and co.

Paulina. Beta Twiggy.

Marvita. My favorite antm contestants of all times.

Love. Her. 

In a weird, loathsome kind of way. Go short chicks!

xo RJS