Here's a classic:
I would normally wait until I had enough hatemail to write a longer post, but the one I got this morning is just too good to keep to myself. From a reader who skipped class the day they talked about punctuation:
youre no one but a slut who loves to fuck her husband and get pregnant and talk about useless stuff so youre a free rider with nothing better to do in life and you dont work god you suck
I'm trying to wrap my head around this one, so bear with me... a slut who loves to fuck her husband? Is this a new brand of slut that I don't know about? The husband-fuckers? Women who love to go around screwing the men they're committed to? Because I thought those people were called wives.
This one also reminds me of a few uninteresting hatemails I got back when I announced my pregnancy from people who were all I TOLD YOU SO! CAN'T TAKE THE MORMON OUT OF THE GIRL! I guess because Mormons typically have large families, and my decision to have a second child proves that I'm trying to populate the entire world with my uterus. You know, they're right. Except I'm not having more than one kid to increase the ranks of my religion. In fact, the only reason I decided to have another child is so that should the need arise and my own stop working, I'll have a wider variety of kidneys to choose from. This is a Mormon teaching known as Emergency Preparedness.
Yesterday as I was specing six light fixtures, drawing couches, cleaning material bins and dealing with my computer crashing, I got this lovely anonymous comment from a reader that seems to have his or her ass quite chapped over my post about being slightly nervous for three MRIs in one week. MRIs to determine if i have a mass or inflammation in my brain. Did I mention MILDLY nervous? For me, this accomplishment of only being MILDLY nervous and not spiraling downward into complete hysteria is a miracle of god. I have disabling anxiety, and this feat is as miraculous as if I were to suddenly sprout wings and one horn from my forehead and fly off into the sunset. Planet Unicorn, heyyy.
But I digress. Ah yes, the idiot who commented! From a reader who clearly has never had the pleasure of 45 minutes completely enveloped in a tube with jack hammer noises blaring the whole time and a brace around her head to keep her immobile:
Do you realize that people with equally serious or much more serious medical issues than you go all by themselves to get tests done every day? You sound like a ridiculous pussy. MRIs aren't a big fucking deal.
PS-- Your blog sucks.
A few thoughts.
1. I'd say do me a favor and stop reading my blog if it sucks so much, but actually, please continue to read and comment, because it make me laugh and then I get to write uncharacteristically snarky posts like this one. It's refreshing.
2. As a caring, empathetic and intelligent person, I do, in fact realize that other people who have MCTD, Lupus, or much more serious diseases go to MRIs every day. And they have worse tests than that. And they go alone. And I wish I could hold the feet of each and every one of those people when they get sucked into the tube. Because IT SUCKS. Worse than my blog. It sucks that much. I've seen more illness than I could ever imagine because of how much time I've spend in and out of hospitals and doctors offices in the past eight years. It's beyond heart wrenching. Yet knowing that I'm lucky to have a disease that can be somewhat managed by pills and not something much worse doesn't really jive in my brain with the desire to have a loved one accompany me to a really stressful test. Apples and oranges, my friend.
3. A Thorasic spine MRI usually takes 45 minutes. Your comment got me so riled up and pissed off that the technician told me I was the most calm and still person she's ever seen complete the test. My MRI took 35 minutes, as she didn't have to repeat any portion due to me FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I WAS ALONE.
4. I asked said technician, after I was done, what percentage of adults who come in for MRIs in a completely enclosed machine freak out to the point of having to redo portions or be taken out of the tube entirely. "30 percent," she said, without taking a moment to think.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it, anon.
xo RJS
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8 comments:
Well said, robin. Don't let the haters get you down. I'm proud of you for being so brave!!
Hey, I think you're great. I'm sorry people can be such dumbasses.
I love your blog and think you are INCREDIBLY brave. Bitter, mean people are so lame! Don't let them get you down!
It was a mean-spirited comment.
But look. Here's the thing about self-pity: If you feel sorry for yourself, no one else will bother feeling sorry for you. They'll figure you're a closed system. They'll leave you alone. You'll end up isolated.
You're lucky. You have access to the best health care technology in the world. MRIs cost thousands and thousands of dollars, but you have insurance. You got an appointment almost immediately. (If you'd been in Canada, you might have faced a six-month wait.) MRIs don't hurt. They are safe, Even if you had someone to hold hands with, you can't do it during a thoracic MRI. It's physically imposslble.
So have one girlfriend you can vent to, and keep your blog self-pity-free.
PS: Yes, I have had MRIs before. Four.
1. I'm not a fan of dooce.
2. If you don't want to encourage trolls, it's best not to feed them.
3. I think you're very brave and I empathize with what you're going through health-wise. I sincerely hope your docs can help you resolve your condition or figure out how to manage it better so that you can lead the fabulous, full life that you're clearly meant to live.
4. In the words of the inimitable Tim Gunn: I say this to you as someone who only wants you to succeed.
Robin, you really need to reconsider what your blog is about and then just be consistent when you post.
Is the blog where you chronicle your journey with this disease? Is it a way to keep your friends updated on your latest adventures (ie. Coachella)? Is the blog a way to market yourself in your new career? Do you want to be the next dooce?
Any of these is *fine.* You just need to commit to your concept and stick with it.
Right now I'm seeing little in the way of decor. Frankly, I find myself checking in less and less.
Robs, I don't want to steal your thunder but my anger tells me I must respond to these commenters. P.S. HI!
Anon - Why should Robin keep her blog "self-pity-free"? Isn't the entire point of writing a blog to have an outlet for your feelings and thoughts? So you don't have to keep it inside bottled up and getting progressively worse? Writing is theapeutic, for Robin and for many other people -- including me. What is it to you if she writes about how she feels? And yes, she is lucky for having access to MRIs and insurance, but does that mean she can't feel down about her awful situation? Who are you to tell her how she should and should not feel? She can't exactly help her feelings, but choosing to write about them? THAT is what helps her. You don't have to like it, and that is the beauty of the internet. No one is forcing you to read this! You are CHOOSING to read her "self-pity" and recommend she stop writing in this way. What does it matter to you!
Sometime reader - Why does Robin "need to commit to a concept and stick with it"? Again, the beauty of the internet -- Robin can write about ALL her favorite topics in ONE PLACE. Should Robin decide she needs a blog focused on solely one topic, such as decorating, then she can go with that. But she clearly doesn't feel that way at this time, so what is it to you? And how do you know what Robin does or does not "need"?
Okay my rant is done. Robin, let's talk soon.
Dori,
Loved the rant. LOVE! You are always one of my favorites. ALWAYS. Am moving back to UES in June, we must rekindle our long lost love over healthy meals and walks in the park :)
Thanks for your wise words. I can't wait to buy the book I know you're going to write one day.
I also think I'm almost done with this conversation, but I will say this:
I DON'T PITY MYSELF AT ALL. Not even a little bit. Not even when I have a particularly unfortunate day and spend half a morning puking. Or, when I try to apply self tanner in preparation to look halfway decent at COACHELLA, but instead look like a streaky hooker because the color is not taking well over my MCTD fueled rash. MMMMrash. I need to talk about this stuff because it is a huge part of my life. And oh, do you know what I would have given to have something to read, while going through my journey, to let me know I wasn't alone?
I want to talk about decorating. I want to talk about unicorns. I want to talk about that video I know we've all seen of a turtle humping a shoe. Ehhhh. Ehhhhhhhh. And ja know what? I can. Because I write this blog and it's rilly fun. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but this is what I write about and will continue to write about.
It's hard to keep up, as this blog is almost a second job. I know all fellow bloggers who don't blog as a full-time job know the struggle for balance. I don't want to stray TOO much from design, as it's what makes me salivate and love my job each day, but I want to keep talking about this MCTD business because I think it's important for my mental health to write about it, and if this writing can also speak to someone else who is feeling bummed or isolated due to any kind of illness, then I'm doing a better service than any type of decorating advice I can offer here.
And Anon, here's the thing about self pity- i don't have it, and i'm not looking for it. if people pitied me, i'd be even more inclined to hurl. It's a wasted emotion on either end.
Cheers,
RJS
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